Popular Chuck Norris Facts / Jokes - Page 1

• Chuck Norris fact / joke 19 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-26
  If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris is broke, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 74 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-26
  Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 128 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-27
  Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 326 by Claude on 2008-11-28
  A man once asked Chuck Norris if it was true that he had cheated Death. Chuck Norris merely laughed and said "Fool! I am Death" and proceeded to roundhouse kick him mercilessly.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 135 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-27
  Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 1 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-26
  Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive reentry without a spacesuit. On July 19, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris reentered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3,000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 323 by Chuck's wife on 2008-11-28
  Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!!!!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 104 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-27
  Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 54 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-26
  A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck Norris asked, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured the man of his blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 151 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-27
  Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

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