Random Chuck Norris Facts / Jokes

• Chuck Norris fact / joke 4594 by lilmonkfish on 2011-11-29
  After consuming four gallons of Captain Morgan Rum Chuck Norris was pulled over and ask to perform a field sobriety test. He did so while standing with (L)boot on empty 1/2 gal(R)boot touching bearded ass,head tilted back,fingers touching flaming nostrils and saying the alphabet back words in 23 foregin languages...while being taserd.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 4783 by ace on 2011-12-15
  god created jesus toencourage peace when that didnt work he created chuck norris to enforce it

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 3277 by Your Mom on 2011-03-24
  Chuck Norris made a turkey by catching a live one, eating it,and throwing it up.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 62 by chucknorrism on 2008-06-26
  In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 500 by Anonymous on 2009-05-14
  Long ago, Jesus turned water into wine, but then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 1931 by T.R.M. on 2010-04-23
  Chuck Norris doesn't clip his fingernails... he rips them out with his bare hands and regrows new ones immediately.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 5798 by pHiLi on 2012-04-07
  The children of Amazon cannibal tribes think Chuck Norris is the Easter Bunny because he hides body parts for them to find every Easter morning.

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 2554 by nas on 2010-11-05
  People pray to God. God prays to Chuck Norris

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 1494 by kelly e on 2010-01-03
  chuck norris let the dogs out

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• Chuck Norris fact / joke 345 by Treycan on 2009-01-19
  Chuck norris had his cake, and ate it too, then ate everyone elses

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